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CHAPTER 1: I’m Rafe Khatchadorian, Tragic Hero
It feels as honest as the day is crummy that I begin this tale of total desperation and woe with me, my pukey sister, Georgia, and Leonardo the Silent sitting like rotting sardines in the back of a Hills Village Police Department cruiser.
Now, there’s a pathetic family portrait you don’t want to be a part of, believe me. More on the unfortunate Village Police incident later. I need to work myself up to tell you that disaster story.
So anyway, ta-da, here it is, book fans, and all of you in need of AR points at school. The true autobio of my life so far. The dreaded middle school years. If you’ve ever been a middle schooler, you understand already. If you’re not in middle school yet, you’ll understand soon enough.
But let’s face it: Understanding me—I mean, really understanding me and my nutty life—isn’t so easy. That’s why it’s so hard for me to find people I can trust. The truth is, I don’t know who I can trust. So mostly I don’t trust anybody. Except my mom, Jules. (Most of the time, anyway.)
So…let’s see if I can trust you. First, some background.
That’s me, by the way, arriving at “prison”—also known as Hills Village Middle School—in Jules’s SUV. The picture credit goes to Leonardo the Silent.
Getting back to the story, though, I do trust one other person. That would actually be Leonardo. Leo is capital C Crazy, and capital O Off-the-Wall, but he keeps things real.
Here are some other people I don’t trust as far as I can throw a truckload of pianos.
There’s Ms. Ruthless Donatello, but you can just call her the Dragon Lady. She teaches English and also handles my favorite subject in sixth grade—after-school detention.
Also, Mrs. Ida Stricker, the vice principal. Ida’s pretty much in charge of every breath anybody takes at HVMS.
That’s Georgia, my super-nosy, super-obnoxious, super-brat sister, whose only good quality is that she looks like Jules might have looked when she was in fourth grade.
There are more on my list, and we’ll get to them eventually. Or maybe not. I’m not exactly sure how this is going to work out. As you can probably tell, this is my first full-length book.
But let’s stay on the subject of us for a little bit. I kind of want to, but how do I know I can trust you with all my personal embarrassing personal stuff—like the police car disaster story? What are you like? Inside, what are you like?
Are you basically a pretty good, pretty decent person? Says who? Says you? Says your ‘rents? Says your sibs?
Okay, in the spirit of a possible friendship between us—and this is a huge big deal for me—here’s another true confession.
This is what I actually looked like when I got to school that first morning of sixth grade.
We still friends, or are you out of here?
Hey—don’t go—all right?
I kind of like you. Seriously. You know how to listen, at least. And believe me, I’ve got quite the story to tell you.
Copyright © 2011 by James Patterson
Rafe Khatchadorian has enough problems at home without throwing his first year of middle school into the mix. Luckily, he’s got a plan for the best year ever. With his best friend Leonardo the Silent awarding him points, Rafe tries to break every rule in his school’s oppressive Code of Conduct. Chewing gum in class—5,000 points! Running in the hallway—10,000 points! Pulling the fire alarm—50,000 points! But when Rafe’s game starts to catch up with him, he’ll have to decide if winning is all that matters, or if he’s finally ready to face the rules, bullies and truths he’s been avoiding.
In Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life, James Patterson delivers a hilarious and poignant story of a one-of-kind kid you won’t soon forget.
Hardcover Book : 288 pages
Publisher: Hachette Book Group Usa ( June 27, 2011 )
Item #: 13-360350
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.25 x 0.65inches
Product Weight: 12.0 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
My 10 year old son saw commercials for I Funny A Middle School Story and wanted that book. While I was searching for I Funny, I came across a couple other books in the Middle School Series and ordered them. He read Middle School The Worst Years Of My Life first in one day. He then went on to read the other books in the next couple of days. When he was done reading the books he told me I needed to get the other one that he is missing. Keep up the good writings Mr. Patterson!
Reviewer: Rita Z
My 12 year old Grand-daughter read this in one sitting! She thought it was hilarious! Mr. Patterson realy knows how to grab this age group's attention and keep it! She is looking forward to the next one!
Reviewer: Middle L
My 11 year old son could not put down this book he was "so into it" that he read it in ONE night! He then said he didn't know if it was a true story or not because it seemed very real! SPOILER ALERT!! He started crying when he started telling me about it because a big part of it was so sad.(He is not a crybaby and he has never done this over a book) I was suprised but knew it must have been an awesome book with very good writing-then he made me read a chapter and I didn't want to put it down! I am serious-it was that good! He can't wait to get the next book in the series.
Reviewer: Rachael C
I bought the book for my son who likes these kinds of books. He doesn't like to read much but when I buy these books he can't put them down. I started by reading the 1st chapter. When I was done he picked up the book and finished it in 1 day. Thanks James Patterson for making entertaining books for boys.
I bought this book for my grandchildren, figuring if I love James Patterson's books so much maybe they will too. My 10 year old granddaughter was the first to read it and declared it to be the best book she has ever read, and asked me to personally contact Mr. Patterson and ask that he write a sequel. Next up will be my 12 year old grandson, and then most likely I will read it too.
Reviewer: Barbara S